A Shared Experience

This summer, in my Nanny life, Andrew and I have been practicing some life skills. One of the things Andrew loves to do is be the “list keeper” at the grocery store. But lately, we’ve been working a little on budgeting. The kid loves numbers so the last couple times we went to the grocery store, he has been the “calculator”. So I tell him what the budget is, then I tell him how much an item costs, and he plugs it into the calculator on my phone and keeps up with where we are in the budget. The first time we did it, we were walking to checkout and he says, “Nanny, I’m so excited, are you?” He couldn’t wait to see if we got the number correct! He nailed it! It’s like a game to him.

A couple weeks ago, I decided to take the challenge to the next level, by going to two stores and still trying to stay within budget. So first, we went to Aldi. Now, I admit, I kinda get lost in my own world when I’m in the grocery store. I have no idea how loud Andrew and I are talking and I’m oblivious about who might be listening to us. I remember coming up on the milk area at Aldi, Andrew and I are just talking, he had just put in the price of the latest item and he kept saying with all the enthusiasm in the world, “Ok Nanny, are you ready to see where we’re at? Boom!” He’d say as he would hit the equals button. Then he would add, “I really don’t know if we are going to stay under budget this time.” (Again, imagine a kid trying to complete a level on a video game. This is his tone and excitement level.) We passed this woman, she was young, and I remember thinking she looked nervous or confused or something. We kept passing her on random aisles. We got behind her in the check out line and still she had the nervous expression. We checked out, packed our bags, took them to the car, took the shopping cart back to get our quarter (Andrew was very confused, concerned and fascinated by the quarter situation), and I’m buckling Andrew into the car when I hear, “Um, excuse me…” I look up and it’s the woman standing at her car. “Yes?” I say. She took a deep breath then said, “I got something for ya’ll.” Now I’m nervous and confused. She reached in her bag and pulled out the biggest pack of chicken Aldi sells. “I heard ya’ll counting pennies, I know times are tough right now. I think my boy is about as old as him. How old is he?”

My heart sank. I whisper a prayer in my mind to the Lord, “What should I do, Lord? Should I explain to her that I’m his Nanny, not his Mom? Should I also explain that we have been learning about budgeting and Andrew just thinks it’s a super fun game? How loud were we being? It’s also hot, and Andrew is in the car. Again, what should I do, Lord?”

“Just receive.”

“He’s 5”, I smiled and responded. “Yep, that’s what I thought, my boy is 4 but he’s about to be 5, I can’t wait for him to be able to help me like that. Anyway, I just wanted to help out”, she said. “Thank you, I really appreciate this.” I told her. “You’re welcome.” She responded, now looking totally relieved and at peace.

I get in the car and Andrew says, “Why’d she give us chicken, Nanny?”

I explained the situation about how she assumed he was my son, and we were poor and didn’t have a lot of money for groceries. Then I told him we were going to say a prayer of blessing over her and ask that the Lord would bless her for blessing us. I also prayed, “Lord, you know my heart, you know I was not trying to be deceptive in any way.” Then Andrew and I began to talk about how we can receive things as though receiving them from the Lord. And suddenly, I felt like I was understanding something much deeper.

Receiving, I believe, is just as much a spiritual discipline as giving.

*Click here to read about spiritual disciplines.

Now, let me go ahead and make a big distinction real quick. I’m not talking about the ungrateful, greedy, spoiled, I-want-what-I-want-when-I-want-it-so-someone-better-get-it-for-me kind of receiving. I’m talking about the grateful and humble kind.

Let me ask you something, if in this moment we were sitting having coffee together and I asked you, are you good at receiving? What would you say?

We feel guilty, like all of a sudden aware that we don’t deserve it. We feel insecure, not wanting the other person to think we are being greedy, spoiled or ungrateful. And if we are being really honest, we feel prideful, we don’t want others to think of us as poor or like we can’t make it on our own. Almost as if making it on our own makes into real grown-ups or someone who has it all together. And some of us may even feel ashamed, if/when we find ourselves in a moment or season when it is a lot harder and we actually really could use the help. We don’t want to be a burden. Some of us just feel like it’s a part of our personality to never receive help. Also, It’s doesn’t help living in the south. I think sometimes we try to see who can out give each other. Not that this is all that terrible. But ever since that day at Aldi, I can’t help but wonder if we are missing something really important on this subject.

Let’s go to Acts 2:42-47. This is the scripture the Lord keeps bringing up on this subject.

”All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord’s Supper), and to prayer. A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders. And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had. They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need. They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity— all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved.”

Ok, now let’s flesh something out for just a second. I don’t know about you, but every single time I’ve read this or heard this being taught, it’s very giving focused. And I’m not really saying that’s a bad thing, because let’s face it, we can be pretty stingy as humans sometimes. But I want us to look at it a little more closely.

How many times does it actually use the words “give”, “gave”, or “giving”?

And now, how many times does it use the words “share”, “shared”, or “sharing”?

Now, I know there are different translations that may use different words, however, the tone and implications are still the same. They most definitely shared. Have we ever thought about that on the other end of all that giving is receiving? And that this receiving is just as important as the giving? This is why it worked for the early church. They shared everything. They didn’t just give everything and they didn’t just receive. It means there was giving and receiving that had to take place in order for something to be shared. Both were equally as important. When they both were happening everyone had what they needed. There was no lack. It wasn’t an act of praising the giver and shaming the receiver because they had a need, it was a partnership. And the most beautiful thing about all of it was the Lord received the glory for all of it. Not the giver.

I think it would be beneficial for me to look at both of these things differently. What if every time I gave, the picture was really just me giving to the Lord, not to the man or woman He’s telling me to give to. Giving to the Lord doesn’t put me above Him in any way shape or form, obviously, but if I’m really being honest, giving to a man or woman, makes me feel real good about myself and if I’m being really, really honest it does make me feel a little like they are lesser than me in some way. Not that that is truly my intention. And what if I looked at receiving the same way. Receiving from the Lord, no matter whose hand it actually came from would take the pressure of proving off as well as the guilt or shame or even pride.

I felt guilty after receiving the chicken from the lady at Aldi. But the more I talked it out with the Lord the more I saw the importance of what He’s doing rather than just what I was feeling.

Let’s say I had told her the truth. She would have been embarrassed, she might have felt foolish. And if she was trying to practice hearing and obeying the Lord in this moment, (which we don’t really know, but I know I’ve been in her position and it’s nerve racking, which would explain the nervous face and deep breaths) it would have made it 10x harder the next time to listen and obey, because the fear of getting it “wrong” would have now been a constant whisper in her mind. But did she get it wrong? The more I’ve asked this question since then, the more I would have to say no. The details and assumptions, yes, but the obeying part? Definitely not..

The truth is, in this woman’s obedience, it fueled and encouraged her to keep listening and obeying and for me, it caused me to humble myself, process it with the Lord and learn something new about His heart and a rhythm of His kingdom. It wasn’t wrong, or wasted. It was a shared experience.

So your encouragement for the week:

Sit with the Lord and examine your heart on giving and receiving. What are your motives behind each? Would you say you are sharing with other believers? In what way, can you practice receiving as a spiritual discipline (making space for the Lord to come and fill) this week? How can you give as if giving to the Lord? How can you receive as if receiving from the Lord? Let your heart be a peace in all of this. It isn’t something to overthink. Simply tune your ears to hear His voice and He will lead you in it all.