The Question

Sometimes, there is no answer.

Sometimes, you can try your hardest, your very hardest, to change, and after years of trying different things, you still find yourself in the very same place. The same dilemma, the same struggle, the same sin. You can take all the advice, set all the boundaries, reach out for all the help, read all the books, and still nothing changes. You… still… fall… short.

Religion is a bully.

And like a bully he speaks directly into our insecurities and makes fun of us for not being able to get it right— yet again. He then pushes us up against a wall, makes us fear for our safety, and then demands something from us. Our lunch perhaps? Yes, we are expected to starve ourselves in order to feed him. Or maybe he demands us to complete his homework? Perform— help him to look better than he actually is. Then, when we fall short, (and make no mistake we will always fall short) when we can’t live up to his standards and impossible expectations, we get punished, beat up, humiliated, all because we didn’t do… no, couldn’t do, what he demanded of us.

But, you wanna know the weird thing about religion? He plays into our soft spots too— like the moment you feel you’ve had enough, he turns into a smooth-talking gentleman, praising you for your efforts. Like a man who beats his wife then gives her flowers— wooing her to stay with him, giving a very convincing argument that if she just keeps doing this one thing (or rather a list of things), things will change, things will get better. Yet she finds herself, once again, in the same cycle.

We forget that manipulation is religion’s first language. We become tone deaf to the shame he sings over us. We overlook the fact that his embrace is really just a choke-hold of hopelessness and discouragement.

I don’t mean to be blunt, but it really is a crap theology to read the Scriptures through the lens of self-help. Isn’t the very Gospel itself all about the very fact that we can’t? Isn’t that the whole point? We. Can’t. Help. Ourselves. There is no such thing in this Kingdom. It’s either we live trusting and believing Jesus did it all or we die believing He didn’t. There is no self-help, there is no self-anything actually.

It’s all Him. His work. His heart. His strength. His power. Even self-control is a fruit of His Spirit.

He is the beginning and the end. Alpha and Omega. He is love. He is hope. He is peace. These things aren’t just found in Him when you check off His list perfectly. He simply IS. He is who He is regardless if we do anything at all.

He just wants us.

One of the most life-changing questions I’ve learned to ask over the last several years when reading the Word is: What does this teach me about God? I started asking this question instead of the question: What does this teach me about me?

When you ask a different question, you get a different answer. A different answer will most definitely lead you in a different direction. A different direction will land you in a completely different place. And it is there that you will meet a completely different Person.

In the past, when I have asked the question, what does this teach me about me, it has only led me to meeting a person I can never please. Yes, that’s right, the bully himself, religion. Who then only leads me in exhausting circles trying to make up for the struggles I have, the pain I’ve lived through, and the weaknesses I can’t seem to help. But nevertheless, he sure does pride himself on those self-application sermons. Surely, kicking us while we’re already down will indeed encourage us to muster up more faith to pick ourselves back up.

But, what is interesting to me, is that when I ask the question, what does this teach me about God, something simply shifts inside me. Suddenly, nothing seems impossible. Suddenly, the pressure is taken off and there’s nothing to figure out. It’s not all dependent upon me. I feel the burden lift, the weight shift, and I can breathe again. But, the craziest part of it all is that in the answers I find in asking this question, the other one gets answered too. However, here, in this place, with this Person, the struggles become moments of dependence upon Him. The pain becomes redemptive testimonies unto His glory. The weaknesses become invitations for His strength. Here, in this place, with this Person, the answer to what does this teach me about me, is completely filtered through and based upon Him. Jesus. The One who it’s been about the whole time.

So, sometimes, there is no answer.

Sometimes, we still have to lay on the couch crying, because nothing seems to make sense. Sometimes, we feel lost and we have no idea where we are going or what we are doing. Sometimes, we stumble into old habits, turn to old coping mechanisms, and struggle with old idols. Sometimes, often times actually, we…fall…short.

Sometimes, when there is no answer, maybe it’s time to try asking a different question.

Because, a different question may not give you the direct answer you were looking for, but it will lead you directly to the right Person. The One who carries all the answers, actually. The One who’s got strategies you can’t even fathom. The One powerful enough to help. The One equipped to do the impossible. The One who actually sees and knows the depths and desires of your heart. The One who intercedes on your behalf, understanding your weaknesses and struggles— wanting you still, regardless. The One who wants to give you hope and a future. The One who wants to love you so deeply and completely until you become your true self. The One who is the most trustworthy. The One who is a lamp for your feet and a light for your path.

Jesus. The One who did what you couldn’t do and still does what you can’t.

Isn’t this good news?

Your encouragement for the week:

Break up with religion. He’s not worth it and he’s definitely not getting you anywhere. Open your Word, ask the Holy Spirit to speak to you, and as you read, I dare you to ask the question, What does this teach me about God? See what He shows you about Himself. He wants to be known by you! And I guarantee He will show you something about yourself in the process.