Safe Trust

I am not a nutritionist.

Clearly.

It’s been a very slow process — I’m talking years — but I’ve learned a good bit about health, food, and how my body responds to both.

One thing I’ve found incredibly interesting is how quickly my body will go into survival mode when I nourish it poorly, especially over a long period of time. The way I’ve heard it put is— it doesn’t feel safe.

For example, diet culture will tell you that if you cut out an entire macronutrient — protein, carbs, or fat — you will lose weight. And that can be true. However, what they don’t always tell you is that your body still needs those nutrients. It was designed to seek balance.

So when you cut out a major nutrient, undernourish yourself, or eat in an extremely restrictive way for long periods of time, your body can interpret that as scarcity or stress. It responds by searching for balance elsewhere — through cravings, fatigue, slowed metabolism, conserving energy, hormonal shifts, and ultimately an unhealthy relationship with food and your body.

And the more this cycle repeats, the harder it becomes to hear the natural cues your body was designed to give.

I’ve lived this for years. Over and over again.

I feel like I grew up dieting. Counting calories. Counting “points.” Looking for quick fixes. Trying to “balance my hormones.” Drinking the greens. Waiting to drink my coffee until after food, because I heard “someone say” one time that I should do that.

At one point, I drank lemon water first thing every morning because, again, I heard “someone say” it was good for my gut. I did it for several months — until one day I went to the dentist and they told me this new habit of mine was putting acid spots on my teeth. Eek!

One person says real milk is terrible for you; another says it’s healthier. One says eggs are the worst breakfast choice and you should only eat egg whites. Another says to eat three whole eggs every morning. Oatmeal is either one of the best breakfasts you can eat or the absolute worst thing for your blood sugar, depending on who you ask.

Fun story, I remember doing Weight Watchers in high school and college and “saving up my points” so I could eat a slice of Chick-fil-A cheesecake. Not even like Cheesecake Factory cheesecake—Chick-fil-a cheesecake! The crazy part? That cheesecake was my dinner. But technically, because I had “enough points”, it was allowed.

And honestly, that’s not even the real tragedy in all of this.

So much of it wasn’t actually teaching me health. It was teaching me stress. It put me in a state where I no longer felt safe in my own body. I felt like I was supposed to hate it — supposed to search for flaws and do whatever it took to change them.

Somewhere along the way, I had allowed culture to infiltrate my mind and tell me problems I had that I didn’t actually have. I began to look at my body through the lens of the world and I started saying things about it and to it, because that’s what I was taught. Everyone did it. We were all trying to live up to the same standard of impossible expectations.

It wasn’t really about health.

It was about appearance.
About control.
About chasing a standard of beauty.

The same can be said about my spiritual appetite.

I get so distracted by all these voices telling me how to walk with Jesus that I subconsciously stop listening to His.

I think we are naturally created to know the voice of God. We are not born to doubt it. Kids are far less skeptical. It’s only when other voices come into our world that we tend to begin to doubt and ask questions— not out of curiosity, but out of skepticism. We are looking to be right, to find all the answers, because suddenly we don’t feel safe. Suddenly, our solution is to find the proof, solve the mystery, and understand the depths, all because of fear and insecurity. We are scared. The first thing to go?

Our trust.

Why on earth would we, could we, trust in a Being that we can’t see? Surely, He gave us this brain to rely on. I know He gave me these abilities to carry me to where I need to go. I can trust myself. That’s the only thing I’m sure of.

“Safe?’ said Mr. Beaver.

“Don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you?

Who said anything about safe?

‘Cause He isn’t safe. But He’s good.

He’s the King, I tell you.” – C.S. Lewis The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

It has taken me several weeks to flesh out this blog. Do you guys remember the blog Fake Rest? If not, you can check it out here. But, there is something about this idea of Safe Trust that follows the same thread as that one.

The invitation has felt deeply personal. Like it’s calling out to a hunger I’ve practiced against— a spiritual nutrient I’ve allowed to be cut out. The noise has gotten loud again.

The conclusion I’ve come to is this: I can safely trust in the One is Who isn’t necessarily safe Himself.

However, in order to do this, I must return to the practice of hearing the natural cues of His Voice I was born to listen to.

Therefore, I must silence the others.

There is risk here. I’m well aware. The risk is that everything is taken out of my hands, out of my control. It will most definitely go against the cultural standard. And I will without a doubt appear foolish.

But, I will gain Him. Jesus.

I’ve been reminded of two songs:

The first was a spontaneous song Steffany Gretzinger sang years ago. She sang:

🎶 “I am gently held by the One Who could crush me.”

The other one was when Phil Wickham, back in 2020, posted a new song on Instagram, which has since been released, called Psalm 23. I listened to that instagram post over and over. My favorite part was the beginning. He sang:

🎶 “The Lord is my Shepherd, there’s nothing I need.

You lead me to the safest places. You lead me to the safest places.”

There was something about these two thoughts that gave me a hunger. They drew me closer— back to the arms of the One I truly longed for.

I think for a minute I doubted Him. I doubted His goodness. I let my safety overshadow His goodness. I allowed religious culture to infiltrate my mind—tell me how I “should” be doing it and I strived to live up to the standard it set, rather than allowing the Holy Spirit to lead me.

I got scared and insecure. I felt like the places He was bringing me to didn’t quite feel safe.

But if I’m being truly honest, I think the safest place He leads me to is His Presence. Regardless of any situation or circumstance I’ve found myself in, no matter how hard, painful, or confusing, when I draw near and find Him close, it truly does feel like the safest place there is.

Your encouragement for this week:

Come back to His Voice. Risk it. Quiet the noise and other voices. Allow yourself to be gently held by the One who could crush you. Awaken your hunger for Him. Return to His Presence. You can safely trust Him.

Scriptures to meditate on this week:

“The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe.” -Proverbs 18:10

”The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.” -Proverbs 29:25

”He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.” -Psalm 91:1

”Preserve me, O God, for in You I take refuge.” -Psalm 16:1

”In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord make me dwell in safety.” -Psalm 4:8

”God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” -Psalm 46:1

Psalm 23

Psalm 91

”My sheep hear My Voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.” -John 10:27